The Serious Cheese Cult
by Deus
Summary: ummm, see title. Also written with Sarryn. And yes it DOES have to do with Escaflowne!


Once upon a time there was a serious Cheese Cult, by this we mean that the proceeding story shall not in any way be considered humorous by the lactose intolerant, so if you can't handle an extreme overdose of curdled cow-juice then cease reading and find the nearest cow slaughter house. Why we have no idea, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Formerly this would have been written from two separate people, but something….odd…has happened and we are now one, but we still refer to ourself(s?) as we.

We have become confused by that above paragraph and kindly ask the readers to disregard it and any relevance to the proceeding text.Which by the way, we have no idea what it will be.

It was twenty years after Hitomi had left when a strange, cheese colored light was seen soaring through the sky. The inhabitants of Gaea wondered what it was, they were soon to find out.

Presenting: The Serious Cheese Cult…

Note: This is our rather pathetic attempt at something akin to seriousness. It has failed…

President Gouda called to order the members of the cheese cult.Lindbergher was making a stink about something or other, as usual, but beyond that most of the other's were behaving.

Niolo was cleaning his nails because he was keeping in character, washed rind. He wasn't really paying attention to what was going on, they had landed on some strange planet in their mother…cow (it's a ship, sorta), who cared.

Herbillettes with her extremely dry sense of humor, was trying to make cheese (of course) jokes.Unfortunately, very few could actually appreciate them.But minutes later, Gouda finally managed to get some quiet, so that he could explain their situation.Once complete (it consisted of, we're stuck on some strange planet, and we don't know what to do) he asked for suggestions on the best course of action.If you haven't already guessed, the response, was, unanimously, "Eat Cheese!"

Vacherin De Chevre, who despite her name and pine fresh scent, was something of a rebel. Instead of the standard "Eat Cheese!" she shouted, "The power of cheese!" Everyone was at a loss as to why she said that since it had no relevance to the question. People suspected her of being high on pine scent from having bathed in too many aromatic baths.Isapier sat smoking three large joints at once.

Everyone was busily eating cheese, when crashing trees could be heard.As the last row of trees was knocked down, a large mechanical robotic walking thingy appeared.No one really cared, because they were eating cheese, and it wasn't.It was…shiny.They couldn't really see it, since it was dark, but they knew it was there (the cheese gave them…..special powers).But as before mentioned, they didn't care about it, since it wasn't cheese, didn't have cheese, and didn't appear to want cheese.

"Stop villains in the name of…" the last part was lost in a rather phlegm filled series of coughs. 

"It should really eat cheese," Niolo commented boredly. The others agreed, but other than that paid the monstrous cheese-less being no attention. The being, for lack of a better description, attempted to say something again and then finally gave up, muttering something about quitting smoking.The creature made a quick movement, and impaled one the cheese cults largest rounds of cheese like it was bite-sized.This of course, caused a major uproar.Gaperon Fermier, a spicy personality, immediately began throwing loafs of American cheese (the fat-free kind, one of the most despised cheese products ever second only to Eazy Cheez) at the creature's eyes.The rest of the cult, all several hundred of them, began to do the same.Soon the creature was completely covered with smeared cheese imitation product.It ran for it's very life (and possibly it's pride and dignity).

****

We have decided to place stars in order to tell you that THIS chapter is over, to find out what diabolical plans the Serious Cheese Cult shall devise you must stay tuned. And remember, may the curd be with you.

SPECIAL NOTE:All names of characters excepting Escaflowne characters are indeed real cheeses.No really.We're totally serious.There's a list at this site, if you don't believe us: http://www.maximeinternational.com/LesProduits/List.htm


End file.
